22 October

Why do I not remember your face?
Or any moment of your laughter?
Not even a single glimpse of your smile
And yet I don't forget you
Even after decades.
Why do I remember the taste of your foods?
Or the dresses you did not make?
But not the touch of your skin
And only tears and pain?
Why am I remembering you?
Even when I know not your voice
Not even a flick of your hair
Or the slightest warmth
Or your hug or your brace.
And why do I even regret
Not having done enough for you
And not being with you now?
Even though I was too young
To know the details of life
Or maybe these are just excuses
That I tell myself
Only to be reminded that I made a mistake.
All I can I do is apologize
But why would that matter now?
It's been ages and yet
I want you here
To love you and serve you
And make life easy for you,
But of all the possible possibilities
That, I know, won't come true.
Cause now you no longer are mine
And yet I so dearly crave.
Why do I miss you?
When I don't even know you,
Or had the time to love you.
All that remains is a fleeting joy
That existed because of you.
And the time that you ever lived with me
Wasn't dreamy or happy or loved
That what was all was a concocted home
Of your broken dreams and bones.